Damaged
by LovelyMagickUnicorn
Summary: Faberry Week Day 1: Scars. They kiss, hold hands, go out on dates, but that's pretty much it. Rachel doesn't want to question why Quinn doesn't want to take their relationship to the next level; why she won't let her touch her, but she can't help but wonder.


AN: Happy Faberry Week! So I just want to say now that I didn't write a fic for each theme, but if inspiration hits me then maybe I'll write more later on. That said, on with the Faberry goodness.

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Lying in bed with Quinn felt peaceful, but more than just that, it felt right. Rachel had only been dating her for a couple of months, ever since Quinn had gathered up the courage to admit to Rachel that she loved her and then promptly smothered her with kisses before Rachel could respond. She quickly apologized only to be kissed back not a moment later. Everything had seemed so surreal back then and none of their friends had believed them, except for Brittany. Of course Santana also claimed to know all along about the repressed sexual tension between the two of them, but whether or not she was being honest no one could really tell.

The previous night had been the first time that Quinn had spent the night over. Although she wanted to make up for lost time, Quinn didn't want to rush things. It was a sweet gesture, one that meant a lot to Rachel. And the wait was definitely worth it. She loved sleeping with Quinn, like really just sleeping. It made her feel warm and good inside and the way Quinn held onto her made Rachel think that she would never let go. Even as the sun began to rise, Quinn's arms were still firmly wrapped around Rachel's waist.

Carefully, Rachel rolled around while still in her girlfriend's embrace. She watched her for a moment, brushing away a few loose of her golden blonde hair to get a better look at her beautiful face. She looked so serene. Rachel wondered what she was dreaming about. She wondered if maybe she was in that dream. She smiled at the thought and kissed Quinn on the forehead, unintentionally rousing her from her slumber. Slowly, Quinn opened her eyes and looked up at Rachel. "What are you doing?" she asked sleepily.

"Just watching you sleep," Rachel answered honestly, earning a giggle from her girlfriend.

"Creepy much?" Quinn teased, causing Rachel to blush slightly.

"Can you really blame me?"

"No, I guess not." Quinn leaned in to peck her on the lips. Rachel kissed her back. She threaded her fingers through Quinn's hair as she pulled her close. Her other hand was resting upon Quinn's thigh and Rachel felt bold and slipped it under her girlfriend's top. There had been little under the clothes action in the short time that they had been together, and Rachel was kind of eager for more. She started tracing patterns on the small of Quinn's back. Quinn hummed contently but the moment that Rachel hand inched higher she hastily rolled around and tossed her legs off the bed.

Rachel got up and kneeled behind her. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Quinn answered, but the way her voice quavered said otherwise. Rachel tried not to be worried though, since they had promised to be honest with one another. "I should uh… go take a shower."

"You want some company?" Rachel already had an idea what the answer would be, but still she wanted to ask.

"Um… no, thanks." She turned and gave Rachel a kiss. "I'll be out in a bit."

"Okay."

With Quinn in the shower, Rachel decided to go to the kitchen and make some breakfast. Rachel wasn't much of a cook but Quinn had managed to teach her a thing or two. She even learned how to make bacon just the way Quinn liked it. Of course normally Rachel didn't have bacon in her fridge, but that morning was one of the occasions that she did. She decided to make some for Quinn. While Rachel didn't exactly approve of Quinn's love for bacon, she did enjoy doing nice things for her.

And there was also a part of Rachel that hoped that her good deed would coax Quinn into opening up to her. She had learned early on in their relationship that there was little point in forcing things out of Quinn as she was just about as stubborn as Rachel herself. It would take time and shows of affection to get Quinn to talk.

As Rachel finished up Quinn was heading downstairs. It was a Saturday and she didn't have anything to do so she wore an oversized top and some sweatpants. Her hair was still slightly damp. The moment she entered the kitchen she inhaled deeply. "Mmm, is that what I think it is?" Quinn came up behind Rachel and wrapped her arms around her. She looked over her shoulder and down at the bacon that she was preparing. It was nice and crispy, just the way she liked it. Quinn licked her lips and kissed Rachel on the cheek. "Thank you, baby."

"You're welcome." Rachel kissed Quinn back.

Rachel finished up and the two of them went over to the small table that Rachel had in her kitchen. Not a word was spoken over breakfast, but that was mostly because Quinn was too preoccupied with her meal. It had actually been a while since she had eaten bacon; she had cut back for Rachel's sake. It was a compromise, something that both of them had lacked in previous relationships, and quite likely the reason why their relationship together was so good and healthy.

It was going to be a lazy day anyway so the two of them would have plenty of time to talk. Rachel swayed her feet under the table as she picked at her food while lovingly watching Quinn. She accidently hit Quinn's feet and Quinn smirked up at her. She lightly kicked her back. A quick game of footsies ensued, with both of them laughing the whole time. Rachel loved the small moments like that one. After they were done she couldn't help but lean across the table to kiss her girlfriend despite the fact that she had just eaten some bacon.

Normally, Rachel a firm rule against kissing under such circumstances and would request that Quinn brush her teeth before their lips were to touch. Quinn always listened and so it was no surprise when she started to back away. She held Rachel back and laughed lightly. "Baby, don't." She shook her head. "Let me brush my teeth first." Rachel pouted, but back sat back down. Quinn got up to go the bathroom after grabbing her last slice of bacon and scarfing it down in one bite. She really did love her bacon.

But she loved Rachel more. While Quinn was in the bathroom Rachel washed the dishes. When they were both done they cuddled up on the couch with a movie set for them to watch. Rachel made sure that Quinn's arms were wrapped tightly around her. She felt safe in Quinn's arms, like she knew that Quinn would never let anything hurt her. Though she wanted to talk, Rachel didn't want to ruin the moment. She nuzzled into Quinn and placed her hands over hers. Quinn kissed the back of her head before resting her chin atop Rachel's shoulder.

They watched the movie silently, aside from some sounds of adoration. The two of them would watch a variety of movies but romantic comedies were their go-to genre. Often, when watching a movie for a second time, Rachel would insist that they act out their favorite scenes as they watched it on screen. Quinn would usually say that she was being silly, but she would always listen and there was no denying that she enjoyed herself. It was especially fun for Rachel to see Quinn show off her acting skills.

The movie took up a good chunk of their morning. When it was done, Quinn let go of Rachel and got up. She stretched for a bit. Rachel got up and placed her hands on Quinn's shoulders. "Need a massage?" she offered. Rachel was very talented with her hands. She knew that she could make Quinn feel better. No, not in that way. Of course, Rachel could possibly make Quinn feel better in that way too… maybe, or at least she hoped that she could.

For a moment Quinn didn't answer. Rachel could just imagine that cute contemplative look on her face. "Um… okay. That sounds nice." Rachel took her by the hand and escorted her girlfriend to her room. She gestured towards the bed and Quinn got on top of it. She laid flat on her stomach and rested her head on Rachel's pillow, closing her eyes as she waited for her girlfriend to work her magic. Rachel went over and sat beside her. She took a grip onto the bottom of Quinn's top and started pushing it up only for Quinn to stop her by wrapping her hands around Rachel's wrists. "What are you doing?"

"Quinn, I've told you before," she reminded. "It's better to have skin on skin contact. It'll feel amazing, I promise."

"I know, and I've told you before that I'm not comfortable taking my shirt off."

"Right." Rachel nodded as she released the hold she had on Quinn's top. She tried not to sound disappointed but her expression must have conveyed enough because suddenly Quinn bit her lip guiltily and then turned away so she wouldn't see the sad look on Rachel's face. "Can you at least tell me why?" Quinn turned back to her. She wanted to answer, Rachel knew that, but she didn't. Once more, Rachel nodded weakly as though she understood. But she didn't. "Okay, but… Quinn…" Her words faltered and she decided that maybe it was best not to voice her concerns.

But Quinn got up and looked over at her, a worried expression upon her face. She cupped her cheek. "Yeah, what is it?"

After taking a deep breath, Rachel spoke. "I don't want to push you Quinn," she started out. "And I love where we are right now, but I do want to take our relationship to the next level. It's okay if you're not ready for sex; I'll admit that I'm not sure if I'm ready myself. If that's the case then you can just tell me."

"That's not it," Quinn answered simply.

"It's not? Then what is?"

"Rachel, I don't want to talk about it."

"Why? What's wrong?" Rachel's voice began to break. "You do… not want… to have sex with me?"

"What? No!" Quinn quickly took Rachel into her arms. She held her tightly, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "Of course I do. Why would you think that? I love you, and I want so much to be connected with you in that way but…" Her body trembled and she inhaled deeply. Quinn pulled away and turned her back to Rachel. She gripped the bottom of her top and slowly lifted it up. Inch after inch of flawless skin was revealed to Rachel until she saw it; a long pink scar running down her back.

Quinn's accident. For so long Rachel tried not to think about it because doing so would leave her weeping for hours. It had killed Rachel on the inside when she had found out what had happen; to learn that someone that she loved so deeply had been hurt because of her. "Oh, Quinn."

"I'm hideous, I know." She pulled her top back down but kept her back turned to Rachel.

"No you're not." Rachel inched closer. "You're beautiful." She slipped her hand inside Quinn's top. Quinn flinched at the touch as she felt the pads of Rachel's fingers on the small of her back. Rachel took her time, idly tracing patterns on Quinn's skin until she felt her girlfriend begin to relax. Slowly, her fingers began to dance up Quinn's spine. She could feel Quinn tense up but Rachel kept going. Rachel stopped just short of the scar and waited. She didn't want to push too much because doing so could possibly push her away.

When Quinn made no protests, verbal or otherwise, Rachel inched her hand higher. Her fingertips brushed against the scar with the most feather light of touches. Quinn let out a shaky breath. "Do you still want to be with me?"

"Quinn-"

"Because I'll understand if you don't."

"Of course I still want to be with you." She grabbed Quinn's hand and tugged, silently asking her to turn around. After a bit of hesitation Quinn did so. "I love you Quinn. I really, really love you. And I will always think that you're beautiful, inside and out. Don't you ever forget that, okay?" With a teary eyed smile Quinn nodded her answer. Rachel kissed her hard, gently pushing her onto her back as she did so. "I love everything about you Quinn, even the things that you don't love about yourself. I want to be with you Quinn… really be with you."

The underlying implications of Rachel's words weren't lost on Quinn. Their eyes locked and Rachel could see that Quinn wanted to be connected in that way as much as she did, but there was still a part of her that was holding back. Quinn reached up and cupped Rachel's cheek. "I want that too," she told her. "But not now. I want everything to be perfect, to be special."

"It will be special."

"I know it will be. Soon, okay?"

"Okay."

Rachel and Quinn would first make love on Rachel's birthday. It was a night that neither one of them would ever forget. It was more than special, more than perfect. It was magical. Rachel would fall asleep in Quinn's arms. And as Quinn held the love of her life, she knew that everything was going to be okay. Maybe she wasn't that perfect girl anymore, but together Quinn and Rachel were perfect and she realized that that's all that mattered.


End file.
